speakeasytherapy:

allkillernofiller:

accidentally bumps into someone

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"you don’t have to keep apologizing" 

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(via ricostruire)

bonersniper:

fuckmeyourephillester:

charlesoberonn:

lanactrlaltdelrey:

so my mom needed a dress for a wedding so she went to neiman marcus and tried this on and sneaked some pictures

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then she showed them to my grandmother and with almost a 50 year sewing career she made an exact replica of the dress for her

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no one tops my grandma tbh

You illegally downloaded a dress…

AND IT LOOKS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL

Omg she made it with a BETTER fabric. This is so hilarious

(Source: versaceslut, via likeyourgirlisinsane)

heygraciela:

like, why does my uterus think i still need my period? i get it. i’m not pregnant. this is the 21st century. why can’t i get a text message from my uterus saying i’m not pregnant? i have unlimited texting so that’s not gonna be an issue.

(via youmaycallmestark)

ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

(via teapot-tragedies)

lill-ac:

maybe if you came and fell asleep next to me I wouldn’t be so sad

(via imma-make-dem-pants-drop)

phobias:

someone please date me before i die thanks

(via orgasm)